I know that in my life, i'm number one! So, why don't I live like I am? It's so weird! I'm naturally a people pleaser! You wanna walk all over me, sure, let me lay down though! That's my attitude and it's not a healthy one to follow at all! I need and am going to start standing up for myself and keep my guard up with people! That way, I won't get hurt as often as I do now!
Now, a more sensitive subject, my weight! I have been up and down with my weight for years! I've battled an eating disorder since I was 12 years old! Bulimia was my first disorder, to "test drive"! The results weren't enough, so anorexia was my next step! Then, I was the beautiful, skinny, "every guy wanted" kind of girl! Then, when I got into my first "serious relationship" at 16, I was tired of being that girl! So, I put on roughly 60-70 pounds! I was 175 standing at 4'11'' tall! Food and my boyfriend became my comfort, and the place I could go and just be me! Well, the boyfriend lasted a year and I just wasn't happy anymore! So, the boyfriend and I went our seperate ways, but the weight kept me company!
At 18, right after graduating, I started working 2 jobs! I was running from one to the other with little time to think and I was reacquainted with an old "friend"! Yep, subconciously Anorexia came back to me and I didn't miss her all that much! After losing 45 pounds and staying at 130, I realized that I had a problem! Thus began the "logical healthy life" plan! Eating right, going to the gym and making smart choices!
Now, i'm sitting at 150 again, which disgusts me! I'm tired of it though! We all blame the inability to lose weight on everything else except ourselves! So, here's to a new, thinner, happier life!
Cheers!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment