I Have to Always Come First...

I know that in my life, i'm number one! So, why don't I live like I am? It's so weird! I'm naturally a people pleaser! You wanna walk all over me, sure, let me lay down though! That's my attitude and it's not a healthy one to follow at all! I need and am going to start standing up for myself and keep my guard up with people! That way, I won't get hurt as often as I do now!



Now, a more sensitive subject, my weight! I have been up and down with my weight for years! I've battled an eating disorder since I was 12 years old! Bulimia was my first disorder, to "test drive"! The results weren't enough, so anorexia was my next step! Then, I was the beautiful, skinny, "every guy wanted" kind of girl! Then, when I got into my first "serious relationship" at 16, I was tired of being that girl! So, I put on roughly 60-70 pounds! I was 175 standing at 4'11'' tall! Food and my boyfriend became my comfort, and the place I could go and just be me! Well, the boyfriend lasted a year and I just wasn't happy anymore! So, the boyfriend and I went our seperate ways, but the weight kept me company!

At 18, right after graduating, I started working 2 jobs! I was running from one to the other with little time to think and I was reacquainted with an old "friend"! Yep, subconciously Anorexia came back to me and I didn't miss her all that much! After losing 45 pounds and staying at 130, I realized that I had a problem! Thus began the "logical healthy life" plan! Eating right, going to the gym and making smart choices!

Now, i'm sitting at 150 again, which disgusts me! I'm tired of it though! We all blame the inability to lose weight on everything else except ourselves! So, here's to a new, thinner, happier life!

Cheers!

Jesus Stole My Wheel.....

It's weird how fate tends to happen when you least expect it!

I was going through a hard time recently! A bad breakup, working a little too much(which I loved, but it did more bad than good), family troubles, and it looked as though, my life was destined to suck! Which isn't like me, i'm a positive thinker. Like one of those people that are ALWAYS so happy and bubbly, you just want to punch them in the face. Yes, that's me! Feeling and being that depressed really disappointed me!

So, as far as dating goes, I don't do much of it! Well, I started seeing a new guy pretty regularly! We had all of the same friends and so, it made for a perfect set up! After the 3rd time he ditched me, without the courtesy of a phone call, I called, "Mr. Amazing", a guy that had been begging me to hang out with him! Fast forward a month and look at us now! We've been dating for a month! He's starting to steal my heart from under me! We giggle, make jokes, watch TV, play with his puppy, hang out, and talk! It's still in the beginning stages, but I've never dated someone that I hit it off with, in the way I hit it off with him! It's just like everyone says, "You find it when you least expect it"! I'm not saying I found "it", but he could make for an awesome learning experience lol!

First Blogs.....

I always find it so hard to begin a new bog somewhere! I have a brain so full, sometimes I know it's about to explode, but that doesn't scare me one single bit :)

The main topics that my blog will be about are as follows.....men....dating....friends.....work.....my loves....my hate.....and maybe a little on the "sexcapades" lol!!

Well, I am a 20-something single girl in "good ole Utah" and living here isn't number one on my list, but my heart does rest here! I work to live and live to work! Kind of silly for someone of my age with a whole life ahead of her, but I told myself a long time ago, 'I'm gonna fall in love with work, and that way, I won't fall in love with a man!" That's my "effin'" story and I'm stickin' to it! I've had on and off "relationships", but my heart refuses to stay still! I don't get hurt, because I don't allow it! Dating is hard and I'm not quite ready to fully take it on! So, i'm gonna live and be young while I can!

I work 2 jobs at the moment! Only for another week though! After which, i'll be a full time worker and student! I have a love/hate work relationship! For me, I wouldn't choose to do anything else, but what i'm doing! Well, for right now that is! I've always wanted to be in the entertainment industry and i've been "hustling" it for a while haha!

My friends....WOW....I have some of the best there is! My friends are such a wide array of people that I'm usually an "outcast", but i'm okay with that too! I am what I am and I love people! My friends really are a testiment to who I've become as I continue to learn and experience life! One year ago, I was in a horrible situation in my life! Friends, that weren't that at all! I let go of some really close friends, because i'm too stubborn sometimes! Now, i've reconciled with them and I absolutely adore them, but have met a lot of new ones!! I love all of them for their individuality and I respect them for that as well!

Well, I hope you liked the intro!
Have an amazing day!
XoXo Miss Tata's